Helping Your Child Make Friends

All parents want their children to grow up happy and healthy. A large part of that will be creating healthy social relationships. Good friendships can help children develop good self-esteem and can be just plain fun! Every child wants to participate in fun with others, but some children have an easier time making friends than others. Parents can help by:

1. Getting your children involved in after-school activities. Contact your local library, YMCA, scout groups, church youth group, 4-H clubs, and community parks to learn about activities just for kids. Armed with this information, talk to your child to find out which activities seem most interesting and attractive. Let your child select the activities that he or she wants to participate in.
   
   
2. Talking about ways to make friends. Not every child intuitively knows how to approach other children. Discuss possible first steps your child can take. For example, you might encourage your child to smile at one new child a day or you might encourage your child to make a compliment and ask a question of someone each day. At the end of the day, discuss your child’s experiences with him or her. Find out who he or she was able to meet.
   
   
3. Role playing. If your child is shy, pretend to be another kid and encourage your child to “meet” you. Discuss ahead of time what your child could say and then role play together. Then, switch roles. You be your child and have your child be another child who is approached by the “new kid.” Role playing can make your child clearer about what he or she can say and more confident about possible outcomes.
   
   
4. Getting out of the way. Some parents inadvertently get in the way by excessively worrying about their children. If you refuse to let your child have “alone time” with friends because you are worried about his or her personal safety, your child will have a hard time with his or her peer group. Find the safest place for your child, make sure that it is well supervised and then allow your child to get along in that place without. Make sure that your child knows that you are always there when needed but encourage your child to learn as well, on their own.