Dealing with Bullying

Aggressive, international behavior - bullying - is very damaging when it is directed at a child. Children who are bullied often have a hard time with self-esteem, friends, loneliness, and depression. School work can suffer as a result of bullying and some young victims even think of suicide when bullied. If your child is being bullied, make sure that you:

1. Give your child help. Get to know the facts about the bullying taking place, but do so in a sensitive way. Don't assume that your child did something to provoke the other child's behavior. Have your child explain to your exactly what happened, when, and where. Try to find out who else may have seen the bullying. In private, write down what your child has said. However, first be a good listener to your child.
   
   
2. Support your child. Praise your child for telling you about the incidents and make sure that the child understands that the bullying is not his or her fault. Ask your child whether there is anything they can think of that might help the situation. Explain that you will think of something to do and will tell your child how to help. Don't tell your child to hit back or to ignore the bullying. Both tactics will not make it better and may make the aggressive behavior escalate.
   
   
3. Contact school officials to report the bullying. To do this, give only factual information about the incidents and keep emotionally neutral. Work with school officials to stop the bullying but do not contact the parents of the children who bullied your child. That is the job of the school officials. Keep in contact with school officials and keep talking with your child to find out whether the bullying has stopped. If it has not, keep contacting your school officials when bullying occurs again. Remember: school officials must act on reports of bullying and you have a right to have the aggressive behavior stop.
   
   
4. Help your child by getting them involved with after-school activities or with other students who are not aggressive. Peer support is important and building confidence by pursuing a talent or activity can be very important. Teach your child how to seek help when bullies approach him or her.
   
   
5. Seek counseling for your child if your child is repeatedly bullied or shows signs of distress. A counselor can help teach your child some coping strategies and some social skills. A good counselor can also help a child regain a sense of self-confidence.